This is who I am, yet this is not who I am. With mindfulness of the lack of "true self", I can only relate that “self” that I have discovered and can relate. I am a lover and I am a fighter. I am a poet and a hugely practical person. I love with my whole heart and I don’t like to let go. I have the urge to kill and hate to hurt a bug.

I find myself often alone in my thoughts and wonder if there are others who look at the world either with open eyes, or at all. There are so many things that I find myself wondering about that it is always a challenge to organize them all in my mind. This is my attempt at doing so.

I often find myself thinking of my past and wishing for things to be different. I have been hurt before (hasn't everyone), but I find that I am unable to let it go completely. It's almost like I have this small part of me that won't heal, that will never grow back. Ex-girlfriends, lost friends, opportunities lost; they all weigh on my heart. How does one survive? I haven't see the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, but from what I know of it, it seems like what I'd go through; a good brain-wipe sounds tempting sometimes. I've had good opportunities lost to that which is beyond my control. I am ambitious, able, and talented, all for naught.

Over all, I would say that I have few regrets. I try to think that things happen the way they do for a reason. I'm not religious, but I believe in both God and karma. Only by finding the way of least destruction does one not incur the wrath of either. While the Buddhists may call it "enlightenment", I think that one should strive towards knowing oneself before attempting to understand what is external. Turn your inner eye towards your deepest thoughts and feelings, as this is the way to happiness.

I'm a process person and a problem solver. My specialties are based heavily in efficiency analysis and business analytics with a software development background to act on the results. I look at many things, business or not, and see different ways to approach so many things. Taxes, cars, religion, politics, money, war. They all float through my mind like lilies on a pond.

I am as complex as they come, and just as easy to get along with. I am who I am, and you can take it or leave it.